Mothers' Day

Another Mothers' Day has come and gone and I tried not to focus too much on my feelings, worries, and concerns. I tried to focus on my mom and others I know who are soon-to-be mothers or waiting adoptive mothers.

I did, somewhat selfishly, decline volunteer work on Sunday. The kids hospice that I do work for was sponsoring an art festival in Portsmouth, all the benefit of which will be for the hospice. I did a couple of hours on Wednesday packing bags for the artists and unloading vehicles to the festival headquarters. I felt somewhat weird not participating over the weekend, but I was busy on Saturday and didn't know exactly what I was going to feel up for on Sunday. Part of me was saying go do this in lieu of feeling sorry for yourself and part of me was saying, let it go, be kind to yourself and don't overcommit. I'm not very good at saying no.

People were generally kind and included me in Mothers' Day wishes, but I really don't feel like a mom right now and I hope by next year, this time, I do, I am, or at least, I have a commitment and path to motherhood.

I also wanted to say that I'm very grateful for the mother I was given by God. I shared with her stories of some of my friends who had been berated by their mothers for not properly sending wishes for Mothers' Day. My mom was very gracious and appreciative telling me that she had received my card. I sent the card and called, so I got double props.