Scary Stuff

I just have to say out loud that I really have no control over what's going to happen and I accept that. I've been struggling with accepting God's will if it turns out we never become parents (again). That's a difficult pill for me to swallow, but if it doesn't happen, I assume there will be something big planned. And I don't mean something like having colon cancer or something where everyone will say, oooh, it was a good thing you all didn't get any of those babies... I know I'm paranoid and a bit cynical these days.

K-Country's adoption program is far less stable than it was a while back. So many of our options are coming off of the table. It gets a bit unnerving. Not sure what we would pursue if not K-Country, we'll have to explore that with our agency. I'm hoping to have some answers and direction in the next couple of weeks. I'm anxious to move on it, whatever it is. I've initiated paperwork at the Immigration office, and we've met with our local agency to update our home study for international purposes. The immigration application clock will not start ticking until we submit the updated home study to them. We may have to do some on-line training courses as well; must check on that yet. I must stay busy....that's when I feel ok - it's when I stop that it doesn't feel so great.