Back on the Horse

Gigs and I submitted our international adoption application to our new agency and have decided on K Country for our adoption. I'm going to continue to be discreet as we really don't want to draw too much attention to this blog as we've officially agreed to limit our discussions about wait periods, costs, etc. I'm sure there's some self interest on the part of the agency, that they don't want dissatisfied clients getting together and don't want to scare potential new clients. They say it's in the interest of protecting the children, but how many times have we heard that before?

I think in an earlier blog I shared the story about the significance of "Sara" throughout our process and we've just been assigned our country facilitator, duhdedaduh! You guessed it - Sara! Just crazy! Gigs said we're going to have to name the baby "Sara", after all of this. I just realized that I, perhaps, did not share as I was being discreet. Well.....In the first domestic situation, mom of birth mom (who did all the talking) was Sara; In the second domestic situation, birth mom was Sara; and now, our country facilitator is Sara. The funny thing was that a prayer warrior friend of ours asked me what my daughter's name was and I said, Jessica - she said that's wierd because the name Sara keeps coming to me when I'm praying for you. I said that is wierd and shared with her the first Sara, then that didn't work out and we met Sara #2 and got goosebumps, then that didn't work out, and we were assigned Sara #3 - had to share the story - they probably think I'm insane (not ever my goal - especially with the people who decide whether I'll be a parent or not - OK other than God).

I've thrown myself into the paperwork so as to give me something hopeful to do during this somewhat grief and disappointment-filled time. I've felt pretty ok most of the time, with a few periods of over emotionality and some blah days. I think that would fall into the category of normal (always my goal, you know). Gigs hasn't said much specifically, but when people suggest another domestic option, he's quick to state that we've been through the emotional turmoil twice, and really aren't anxious to initiate another process with an 80% failure rate. I think that pretty much sums it up, we're too old for that much uncertainty and our hearts can't take the pounding.

If you read this pray for all of the people, past and present, that we've met along the way, for their children, for the children in orphanages all over this world. Pray for the people affected by the tornadoes here in Virginia this past week, that they would all turn to God for comfort, peace, guidance, and purpose!