Not looking good....

Things are not looking good right now on our quest to adopt from K-Country. I'm almost certain we're going to have to change programs. I talked to the PA police today trying to hunt down court disposition papers for Gigs' 1978 issue. The access and review officer told me that the FBI has the information available to them. That means the report will come back with the charges listed and that will pretty much seal the fate for the K-Country program.

Gigs is having a hard time dealing with this process sometimes. I know that he is defensive out of upset and not true anger and that he hates that he's not able to "give me what I want", but if he could just say that instead it would be most helpful. I need to reassure him that we're ok whatever happens, just like I have to be ok with God no matter what happens, but I'm not doing a good job of that either, especially when he gets angry and says things are ridiculous or stupid. I realize they are ridiculous and stupid, but it's what we're stuck with and it changes nothing to act incredulous at these issues. I feel like he just wants to throw his hands up and quit and that is not what I want to hear from him. We've had 3 disappointments so far and I feel like when it works out then that will be where God has led us. I'm certainly not willing to quit yet. Things worth having are worth fighting for. I just wish sometimes I didn't feel like I was all alone on the battlefront. Don't misunderstand, it's not that he's not interested in this working out, etc., it's that it's hard in many ways, mostly emotionally, and it would be easier not to face the tough stuff. He's also being put upon by many people and feeling completely unappreciated and under-rewarded. "My stuff" just adds to what's already there, not a good place for "my stuff" if I am to be honest, on top of all the other crap.