She didn't show

Well, she didn't show up again for her appointment. The counselors are worried about pushing too hard with her. She didn't not show up 3 times by accident. The fact is we may not even know when she has the baby; and if she doesn't decide FOR the adoption, she could just disappear into air. It would be nice if she were making decisions right now that would be in the best interest of all parties, especially the baby, but I think she really wants to remain in denial and deal with the pain once and for all, if she can, in the hospital.

I'm going to contact the attorney and just let her know that we have this very uncertain situation and give her the due date of the baby. She already provided after-hours contact information, etc. at our initial consultation when the twins were possibly coming our way in the fall. It will be somewhat messy, if it happens at all, but it will come together if need be. The counselor said it would likely be an exchange of information in the parking lot at the hospital. Two things have to happen at some point - an exchange of contact information, including medical histories for both sides, etc; and, the agency has to observe the baby in our home and prepare a report. All of that will then be presented and the birthmom will be heard by a judge in a preliminary hearing. She's asked to answer a couple of questions about whether she agrees, if she's been coerced in any way, etc. If she doesn't show up, her consent is deemed given. That will be the more important thing, but the adoption will not actually be finalized for probably 6 months. During that period, the birthmom cannot just say I've changed my mind - there'd be much more involved than that for the adoption to be disallowed.

The counselor said she was going to back off for a week or so, and then check in with her. I think that's totally appropriate; we certainly don't want her to feel pressured, but want her to know that the agency cares about her.