Good Advice from our caseworker

In adoption, as in most of life, we can prepare ourselves, open our hearts, and God pretty much does the rest. As I say this, I do not make light of the hardships that accompany adoption -- those of the child or birth parents or adoptive parents. The path is not easy or clear. I cannot think of anything more emotionally rigorous than adoption.

When adoption is difficult, it is good to ask, what am I learning from this test of strength and faith? There is no universal answer; we each have our own journey and when adoption plays a role in our lives, it challenges our beliefs, expectations and endurance. I urge families to meditate, to find an inner peace that will help you stay centered and withstand the turbulence around you.

Every family's adoptive journey has been buffeted by politics and the winds of change -- those who completed and those who are still waiting. Read biographies of people you admire who suffered hardship. There are things to learn. While I cannot say adoption has caused me to achieve serenity ~ I know that underlying the moment (those moments seem to last for years, honestly) somewhere there is a calm space for me to retreat to, when pain and frustration overwhelms me. Find that place -- and visit, often.

Let your mind go, time go, goals and expectations go, tension go, pain go. If you can't find that space, get a massage. I think maybe massage should be part of adoptive parent preparation; massage and meditation. The Hague Convention forgot to mandate that, but let's be innovative. Take good care of yourself.