April Fools

This morning I called Gigs on his way to work to tell him that the baby was born and that we got the word that she was coming home with us. I was really tearing up saying this information aloud. Eventually, he said, "Wait it's April Fools Day, you're messing with me!" And, I WAS messing with him, but I had him for a moment. I'm evil, I know. He said he needed to pull over and throw up. I just had to do it.

I once fooled my parents when I hadn't seen them for several months and they were arriving on April Fools Day - I padded my belly and wore a maternity shirt, said there was something I hadn't shared with them....My mom said to my dad, "Gary, Do you see what it is that she hasn't shared with us?" and then I said April Fools - She said it wasn't really funny. That's the thing about April Fools jokes, they're really only funny to the one playing the joke.

I'm having a rough couple of days. I called the attorney yesterday just to give her the heads up that we may have a last minute situation and that this birthmom is due 4/16. I know she knows better than to get ahead of herself in these situations - I just felt like I heard pity in her voice. I heard, "Oh you poor dear girl, don't be a FOOL, she's made no commitment to you at all."

I don't want people to pity us or think that we're fools, but I guess it's all part of the process. Gigs's sisters called and said I was so strong and patient. I wasn't thrilled with that either, that means they're all expecting me to keep it together and that doesn't give me much room for being human. AAAAAAAAAAAGH - there's no winning. I am praying that these last couple of weeks, I can be a normal person with normal hopes and expectations, joy and disappointment if necessary, that people don't treat me like a fool, but don't expect me not to be hurt if things go badly.